Some updates are just easier to share than others and the really good ones are the easiest of all. I mean, don’t we all love to share great news? It has taken me a while to get my head wrapped around how to process this latest news. It’s not that bad, really. I was just hoping for a little better. Okay, I admit it. I was actually hoping for perfection and this one is not.

The January 18 surgery lasted about 2 1/2 hours. The surgeon removed a little more of my tongue and this time also removed a section from the floor of my mouth. The area was patched (my word, not the surgeon’s) with a cadaver graft. Everything went about as I expected.

Recovery has been about as expected, too. Short version: It. Hurts. A. Lot. The first 10 days or so were wickedly difficult before things began to improve. That is about how it went last time, too, so no real surprises. My meals are still mostly liquid, with things like applesauce and cream soups for variety. I’m very thankful that I love soup!

My speech is almost as clear as it was before surgery, although it takes a lot of concentrated effort to speak, is painful, and I tire easily. As frustrated as I get with my articulation, I am continually amazed at how clearly I can speak after all the assaults this tongue of mine has endured over the past 17 months.

So, what’s the problem here? Well, it’s the final pathology report. It’s a real mixed bag. The fantastically wonderful part is that the margins in all five samples were NEGATIVE for invasive cancer. For that news, I am deeply thankful. The cloud overhead is that four of those five samples contain high-grade dysplasia, carcinoma in situ, or Stage 0. That’s the stuff often called precancer. 

Can this precancer change into cancer? Yes, at any time. Will it become cancer? We don’t know. It doesn’t always, but there is no way to know what or when it will or won’t. In my particular case, my original carcinoma in situ became invasive squamous cell carcinoma in a gasp-worthy short amount of time, a matter of a very few weeks. 

What do we do about it? The only medical option at this time is to watch it very, very closely, and then deal with any changes when/if they occur. Neither chemo nor radiation is an option at this time due to the many complications those treatments present with head and neck cancers.

I was pretty upset by this pathology news until I began to put it in perspective.  In December 2022 I had a similar surgery (my second partial glossectomy) and had absolutely clear margins, yet here I am again recovering from a third partial glossectomy that no one expected I would need. You see, even those perfectly clear margins didn’t guarantee a perfect result. 

The reality is my body is being attacked by a highly aggressive cancer. I knew that from the beginning. However, for me, the initial shock of receiving a diagnosis of cancer was far more difficult than being reminded that the potential for its return is still there. Pathology reports are just a snapshot of what is going on in a particular part of the body at a given point of time. My future life is in God’s hands, just as it has always been. 

For now, I give thanks for this ceasefire of undetermined length in my war on cancer. I’ve got a lot of living left to do.